Yesterday I planned to go on a long run in the morning, ending at Boyfriend’s place where I could enjoy the Westin Heavenly Shower I got him for Christmas. His phone was on vibrate across the room, so he didn’t hear me calling and didn’t give me a call until 5 PM, when it was already dark out.
Last night, I planned to go to a free pilates class at Lululemon Athletics. I haven’t taken pilates in years and I used to hate it, but my core is stronger now than it was then, and yesterday was my day to work my core anyway, so I figured it would be cool to try something new. But because I hadn’t seen Boyfriend during the day, he wanted me to come over for the evening.
I was a little bit annoyed about these things, but not actually pissed off – the first one was an accident, and I didn’t discuss the pilates class with him yesterday when I agreed to come over, so he didn’t know I was skipping it to see him.
But the fact remains – I skipped workouts to see Boyfriend. To make things even worse, he tried to cheer me up by going on a special outing… to Magnolia Bakery. It’s bad enough that he lives only one block away, but to go there and inhale the deliciousness and try to be good… that is tough. Boyfriend inhaled a vanilla cupcake with chocolate buttercream frosting, and debated whether he should follow it up with some banana pudding (they make the best banana pudding of anywhere, and my vegan banana pudding is certainly good… but not that amazing). Meanwhile, I sat and tried not to lick my lips as he ate.
While I persevered last night by managing to avoid touching both Magnolia and the takeout Boyfriend got from Dallas BBQ (I even managed to avoid the pina colada, preferring to save my alcohol calories for the shitshow that will be New Year’s Eve), it’s definitely tough to be in a relationship while trying to lose weight. Boyfriend is so fantastic and is so nice to me, constantly telling me that I’m beautiful… but that kind of permissiveness is not really what I need when I struggle to drop the last 5 pounds. I don’t need him to tell me I’m fat (I realize that would probably lead to a complex, as it did when my father constantly joked about the slight belly pooch I had as a teenager… I would give anything for that body now!). However, a little kick in the pants can be a good thing.
This morning, I opened my Google Reader to find a post on Cranky Fitness called, Boyfriends and Husbands: Health Hazards? I immediately thought “yes, yes, yes, they are!” and clicked through to read the article. In it, Crabby reviews Jenna Bergen’s book Your Big Fat Boyfriend: How to Stay Thin When Dating a Diet Disaster, and also discusses her own thoughts on staying healthy with a partner. Crabby’s post is really interesting, and it sparked a lot of discussion in the comments section that also intrigued me.
I think what’s frustrating about the whole thing is exactly what others complain about: not only does Boyfriend eat tons of crap, but he rarely works out… and yet is still in ridiculously hot shape. To steal from my comment:
“Living in New York, a lot of people eat a lot of takeout, but I make a really strong effort to cook 95% of my meals so I can eat better and control what I’m eating. Not only does he get takeout, but he’ll get the most unhealthy foods you can find on a takeout menu. At Dallas BBQ, he’ll get an order of barbecue fried chicken AND an order of chicken fingers. At the Chinese restaurant, he’ll get sesame chicken and throw in a few egg rolls. When we order pizza, he’ll eat most of the pie (at least it keeps me from eating more than a piece or two).
What I REALLY don’t get, even more than the eating, is that he works 80-90 hours/week (he’s one of the “lucky” survivors in investment banking). This means he not only doesn’t have time to go to the gym anymore, but he’s also sitting at a computer 15 hours/day and getting no physical activity. And yet, his chest/arms are still totally cut! Meanwhile, I have two weeks off from work and am working my butt off at the gym and eating healthy… and I’m struggling to even get any definition in my muscles.”
Anyone else have issues with trying to lose weight and stay healthy with a partner or family who makes it difficult? How do you deal with it?